Wellness Dates

My husband Andy is like a fine wine or decadent cheese - he just gets better with age.
The irony is, it’s because he stopped drinking wine and eating cheese.

Let me explain. Andy’s a creative, and like many creative types, food and alcohol were part of his process. Being creative is part of his identity - and so were the things that inspired that creativity. Over time, though, those creative rituals started to take their toll.

Then, suddenly, his dad died - a wake-up call we didn’t see coming. I’d lost my own dad ten years earlier and knew how deeply that kind of loss changes you. It reminded us how fragile life is, and became a catalyst for change. Both our dads missed their retirement. Life is short.

When Andy stopped drinking and cleaned up his eating two years ago, one of my first (admittedly selfish) thoughts was, how will we socialise? It turns out, many people are more uncomfortable with you not drinking than you are. Our good friends weren’t bothered - many were inspired - but it completely changed how we socialised, who we saw, and how we connected as a couple.

No longer were we going out for dinners or to bars - we were going on Wellness Dates, and it was the best thing that ever happened to us. 

Our favourite kind of Wellness Dates include saunas, spas, couples massages, the movies, and nature walks, ideally all of the above. And the best part? We actually talk. Really talk. The kinds of conversations you don’t have when you’re complaining about the house wine or why your salad could do with less cheese.

Ironically, not drinking has spiced up the way we connect. When you’re in a sauna with someone, you’re forced to talk. No phones. No kids. (And ideally, no one else.) We have some of our deepest conversations there.

Through this journey, we’ve discovered so many new wellness experiences that not only make us feel good but also help us connect better. Our favourite so far was a day at Kula in Muriwai, with our yoga teacher Selina, who led us through slow-flow yoga, sound bathing, and meditation. For two busy minds, it was the perfect way to be still, relax, and be present with one another.

Wellness dates have become our new ritual - proof that slowing down together can bring you closer than any big night out ever could.

We’re always on the lookout for new Wellness Date ideas, so please share yours with us.

Our Wellness Date at Tiki Beach (Mangawhai).